Child residence and child support after divorce: what can be resolved through mediation?
When a couple decides to divorce, one of the most important questions is how to agree on the child’s future. Which parent will the child live with? How will their relationship with both parents be ensured? How will child support be provided? These questions can be addressed not only through the court process – mediation is increasingly being used for this purpose.
Mediation is a structured process in which both parties, assisted by an independent mediator, seek solutions to help them agree amicably. If the couple disagrees on child custody or child support, the first step is mandatory mediation. Only if this fails can they proceed to court.
Mediation can resolve issues related to determining the child’s residence, allowing the parents to agree on where the child will live, how often and under what conditions they will communicate with the other parent, and how holidays or vacations will be shared. This agreement can be more flexible than a court ruling – for example, remote communication methods can be included, or a transitional period can be set to help the child adjust to the new arrangement. Additionally, resolving these matters through mutual agreement is always a quicker option than a long litigation process, which not only takes up a lot of time but also incurs significant costs.
Mediation is also an excellent way to agree on child support and alimony. Parents can jointly define the monthly payment, agree on additional expenses (e.g., extracurricular activities, education, healthcare, expensive purchases), and decide on the form of support – in cash or kind. Since the agreement is created by the parents themselves, it is often more precise, clear, and easier to implement than a decision imposed by an outside party.
During this process, it is important not only to formally reach an agreement but also to consider the child’s feelings and needs. Although the child is not a direct participant in the dispute, the parties involved should take the child’s needs into account. In every case where issues involving the child are resolved through mediation, the child’s best interests are prioritized over the adult’s ambitions and emotions towards each other.
How can the child’s opinion be considered?
✔️ Child-centered mediation/indirect representation of the child. The mediator represents the child’s interests, encouraging the parents to create child-centered parenting plans based on the child’s age and needs, without directly involving the child in mediation. The mediator may ask the parents to imagine the child’s perspective or use a psychologist or child protection specialist to help understand what the child needs.
✔️ Child-inclusive mediation. If the child is mature enough to form their own opinion (usually 10-12 years old), the mediator or another specialist, such as a child psychologist or child protection specialist, listens to the child in a separate conversation and later conveys this to the mediation participants. This helps to hear what is important to the child – routine stability, school, relationships with siblings, etc.
✔️ The “child’s chair” method. Some mediators, when working with parents, apply the principle where the parents briefly “imagine” how the proposed solution would look from the child’s perspective. This helps not only in finding a rational solution but also creates more empathy.
Once an agreement on the child’s residence and child support is reached, it is formalized in a settlement agreement. This is submitted to the court for approval – at which point it becomes an enforceable document, which can be executed through the court or bailiffs (in case of non-payment of child support) if violated.
Agreements reached through mediation are often more sustainable, as decisions are made by mutual consent, rather than imposed from outside. This helps avoid long-term conflict and lays the foundation for future cooperation regarding the child.
If you are considering mediation, we can help assess the situation, prepare for the mediation process, prepare necessary documents, and advise on how to select the appropriate mediator for your case.
